15 Reasons You’re Way Too Old For Backpacking

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than being somewhere you don’t want to be. And there comes a time when a dodgy hostel, having to deal with loud roommates or having to climb up a bunk bed isn’t your idea of having fun. Guess what? You’re too old for backpacking. Read on to find out more reasons you should consider other options.

(ManiacMikey/wikimedia Commons)

(ManiacMikey/wikimedia Commons)

1. Being Dirty

Once you turn 30, taking a shower daily becomes compulsory. Your tolerance to your own body odour, filthy feet and oily hair is minimal. So having to wipe yourselves down with wet wipes and hand sanitiser is not your idea of clean.

(Quinn Dombrowski/Wikimedia Commons)

(Quinn Dombrowski/Wikimedia Commons)

2. You Like Good Wine 

A two-for-one beer special just doesn’t do it for you anymore. You prefer a good glass of shiraz with no ice and/or cola added to it. Your taste buds have changed and so has your drink of choice.

(Let99/Wikimedia Commons)

(Let99/Wikimedia Commons)

3. You Left Your Dormitory Days In College 

Remember your first few weeks of college when you had to change in front of your new roommates and felt awfully uncomfortable? Well, this is almost the same thing, except it will be a different person every night.

(Imokurnotok/Wikimedia Commons)

(Imokurnotok/Wikimedia Commons)

4. Having To Deal With Noisy People 

Whether it’s the people next door having a party in their room or the person who decided it was appropriate to bring a bunch of randoms into your room to chat the night away, noisy people will need to be told to pipe down!

(Rowedripe/Wikimedia Commons)

(Rowedripe/Wikimedia Commons)

5. You’re In Bed By 10 p.m.

Just as the youngsters head out for the night, you curl up to a good book and get a well deserved four to six hours of sleep before they come stumbling back into your room drunk and loud. Refer to number four as its time to tell them to pipe down.

 (Wjwalrus/Wikimedia Commons)

(Wjwalrus/Wikimedia Commons)

6. You Panic At The Sight Of Bunk Beds

Speaking of being in bed, the idea of having to climb up that tiny step ladder and not fall off the bed freaks you out. Bunk beds are for children, not for grown people with jobs and responsibilities.

(Flinga/Wikimedia Commons)

(Flinga/Wikimedia Commons)

7. Sharing A Bathroom Freaks You Out 

It’s not sharing the bathroom that freaks you out, it’s who has been there before you, whose hair is blocking the drain and whose thong is hanging from the shower head!

(KoS/Wikimedia Commons)

(KoS/Wikimedia Commons)

8. You’re Not Looking For A Hook Up 

You’re definitely not attracted to backpackers (with no real job, stability, or life plan) and not looking to get an STD from a random on your journey. But that isn’t stopping the 19-year-old on the bunk below you from getting it on.

9. You’re Tired Of Five Minute Friends

You have a bunch of carefully selected friends back home waiting with open arms to welcome you back. So why try to make friends with someone who is leaving tonight, tomorrow morning or five minutes from now.

(Mysid/Wikimedia Commons)

(Mysid/Wikimedia Commons)

10. Hostel Kitchens Are The Worst 

No one cleans up after themselves and a hostel kitchen is the clearest place to see that! You just want a clean cup to have some coffee. Is that too much to ask?

(Ildar Sagdejev/Wikimedia Commons)

(Ildar Sagdejev/Wikimedia Commons)

11. You Crave Quality, Not Quantity 

And you’d pay for it. A little air con, a clean towel and some more leg room is all you really want. You’d pay for the luxury bus over the dodgy unlicensed one anyway – even if it means paying $20 more. It’s all about the journey anyway.

(AlexanderVanLoon/Wikimedia Commons)

(AlexanderVanLoon/Wikimedia Commons)

12. You Check Your Work Emails 

After this month long backpacking adventure you’ll need to go back to the office and deal with 400 unread emails so why not make your workload lighter and check a few while travelling. It’s also called having responsibilities.

(Tom Morris/Wikimedia Commons)

(Tom Morris/Wikimedia Commons)

13. You Question Anything With The Word ‘Free’ Before It 

Free beer, free food, free WiFi or free shots — just because it’s free doesn’t mean its good! Maybe it is, but why is it free? Is it yesterday’s leftovers, can the WiFi be trusted to work for more than 10 minutes, and is the booze laced with something? Just asking.

14. You Don’t Friend Request The Girl You Sat Next To At Breakfast

Who needs new friends anyway? Or at least people who want to be in your business on social media. Not everyone you meet on your travels needs to become your bestie.

(Oneras/Wikimedia Commons)

(Oneras/Wikimedia Commons)

15. You Hate Know It All Young Backpackers

You are almost twice the age of this little know-it-all brat and he/she is telling you about their “life experience,” the meaning of life or what the difference is between a tourist and a traveller. Please just shut your mouth!

And after all this, if you still think backpacking is for you, here are some good ideas.

Beyond Backpacking: Where To Go ‘Slackpacking’ In South Africa

15 Things You Should Shed From Your Backpack

Travel Tip: Save Money With The Baz Bus

This article was originally published on December 23, 2014.

Comments

  1. Daryl Warren
    Daryl Warren
    Jan 12, 2015

    My initial reaction to "15 Reasons You’re Way Too Old To Still Be Backpacking," before actually reading the 15 reasons...

    My initial reaction to “15 Reasons You’re Way Too Old To Still Be Backpacking,” before actually reading the 15 reasons was, “Oh, yah! Well I’ll tell you a thing or two about people like you who use a wide brush to paint all seniors (I guess that means over 50 to you) as senile couch potatoes.” How-some-ever, before I was half way through the 15 reasons I was chuckling. I mean, after all, who doesn’t like dirty hostel kitchens, “know-it-all” 18 year-old pack packers, noisy people after hours, etc. I’ve seen 80 summers and still seek, as always, quantity AND quality on the trail.

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