It can be difficult to maintain a healthy diet on a road trip when it seems like only fast food is made available. Only certain meals or snacks can be safely consumed without their horrible consequences (fatal or non-fatal). Here are 15 foods you definitely should not be eating while driving on the highway.
1. Bean burritos
Just because you passed your 12th Taco Bell, doesn’t mean that it’s a surefire sign that you must dine on their bean burritos. A rookie mistake for every road trip adventurer, bean burritos will turn your pleasant road trip into a gaseous nightmare.
2. Big Gulp Slurpees
If you have a bladder the size of a walrus, then sure — go for it. Otherwise, you’ll be belching the entire way and pulling over to every rest stop to relieve yourself. And sooner or later, you’ll start questioning whether chartreuse is a normal urine color.
3. The stacked Whopper
First of all, why would you do this to yourself? The ill-fated aftermath of eating this whopper could rob you a few hours of your trip as you rush over to the nearest toilet with excruciating stomach pain.
4. An entire box of donuts
Sure the road can be tedious, but that does not permit you to commit a diabetic suicide by snacking on donuts. Not to mention the sugar — which will make you drive like an insane maniac behind the wheel. Never combine donuts with techno music if you want to avoid speeding tickets.
5. Cheesy nachos
Who needs scalding hot liquid cheese dripping down your shirt and all over your wheel? Just stop. And if you get past the hot cheese, you will probably get stabbed in the throat trying to swallow one of the tortilla chips.
Eating pasta on the road can turn into a big slurping mistake. It’s nearly impossible to maneuver your way around to handling the wheel while forking up your pasta (and splattering sauces all over your upholstery). Not even the cruise control can help you out in this dilemma.
7. Chamomile tea
This should not be your cup of tea before (or while) embarking on your adventure. Although chamomile has its soothing effects, it could potentially be a fatal mistake when you doze off on the road. Though if you already downed four red bulls, it might help to chill you out.
Sure this semi “light” orange treat makes a decent snack, but with sticky orange fingers, you might want to check this off your list. Spare your upholstery and clothes from this catastrophic orange mistake.
9. The Baconator
Has anyone ever eaten an entire Baconator in one sitting only to exclaim how great they feel afterwards? Yes you say? Liar.
If you find yourself shucking the foul-stinking oysters while driving, well…you might be crowned as the world’s finest idiot. And don’t forget, this aphrodisiac shellfish might have you desperately driving to the nearest love motel, or puking your guts out after a bacterial infection.
11. A large Milkshake
Leave the milkshake to the yard. You don’t want to arrive to your destination feeling blocked up and gross. There’s nothing more embarrassing than shamefully wobbling out of your car.
12. Boiling hot soup
God forbid you should hit a pot hole or a speed bump, your road trip adventure will end with a trip to the E.R.
13. Indian food
Indian food is one of mankind’s greatest invention, but you definitely do not want to eat this in an enclosed small space (like your car). As delicious as it may smell, the super strong aroma of Indian food will leave your car smelling like the streets of New Delhi for days.
What? But isn’t sushi healthier? Yes, but sushi has no place behind the wheel. Unless you’re the Hindu Goddess Shiva, no one can multi-task using chopsticks while maintaining the driver’s wheel. If you want to use your fingers instead, go ahead, it’s a free country but enjoy your hands smelling like fish for the entire ride.
Duh. Don’t drink and drive. Oh, and buckle up.