When we think of weird holidays, chances are Day of the Dead or Boxing Day come to mind. But those are nothing compared to these 15 bizarre, zany and downright silly holidays that few of us know about, let alone celebrate.
1. International Talk Like A Pirate Day – September 19
Avast me mateys! This is the only time of the year when you can unleash your inner Bluebeard. On International Talk Like A Pirate Day, no one will think strangely of your newfound appreciation for the letter R (as long you don’t bust out the eye patch and the peg leg). Shiver me timbers and celebrate this aaarrrsome holiday!
2.Fight Procrastination Day – September 6th
Embarrassed that you’re always delivering deadlines at the last minute? No worries, Fight Procrastination Day will be an important holiday for you and other procrastinators to unite and fight procrastination. However, they still haven’t booked the venue yet, so you’ll have to wait until they can get back to you on that one.
3. Ditch The New Years Resolution Day – January 17th
Who are we kidding? Isn’t this a holiday that naturally takes its course every year when we make ourselves empty promises to shed some weight, call our mothers more often, or seek that promotion? On this day, we’re faced with the harsh reality that it really isn’t going to happen while we take another bite of that donut, repeatedly apologize to our mothers, and swallow our pride as the boss’ nephew takes the new position.
4. Festivus – December 23rd
Are you a grinch during Christmas when everyone is so jolly and Hanukkah bores you of your mind? And you’re not even sure what Kwanzaa is about? Then Festivus is for you (and for the rest of us) where you can air your grievances of all the annoying things that happened to you. So ditch the Christmas tree and bring in the aluminum pole, because this pole perfectly captures the spirit of Festivus–cold and unadorned.
5. Middle Child Day – August 12th
Are you a middle child that is always tired of the attention your favored and responsible older sibling gets while the younger one is constantly spoiled? Does it seem like you’re always stuck in the middle (literally and figuratively) with no special treatments to outshine your siblings? Middle Child Day is your day to shine. Forget your siblings, they won’t even exist on your day and your parents will clamour about what a nice responsible child you are and shamelessly shower you with gifts — that is, until come next morning when everything is back to normal and they forget your name.
6. Run It Up The Flagpole And See If Anyone Salutes Day – January 2nd
This strange holiday is a technical term for trying something new without announcement. So try out that new bob haircut you’ve been wanting to try, fashion a new wardrobe, or a new idea and see if anyone appreciates your random impulse, or even noticed. However, wives should be forewarned to not take it personally if their husbands don’t take heed their new looks (scientists have long been trying to figure out this mystery since the Stone Ages).
7. Name Your Car Day – October 2nd
Did you ever wish there was a way you can return your appreciation to your car for not breaking down on you over the years you’ve left him/her untreated? And that your car, despite negligence, has proudly and haughtily squeaked by? Now you can return your respect by naming your reliable friend. Just be sure to clear that up with your significant other first before you announce: “Hey hon, I’m going to take Cheryl out for a little ride.”
8. National Squirrel Appreciation Day – Jan 21st
What’s a more perfect day to put aside your immense dislike for the little acorn eaters? On National Squirrel Appreciation Day, you’ll look the other way if the squirrels should help themselves to your Hibiscus garden. With this new attitude, you’ll start appreciating the squirrels because, after all, they are cute and fuzzy creatures.
9. If Pets Had Thumbs Day – March 3rd
This is the day you’ll gather among your loved ones and imagine what it would would be like if life has graced your pets with opposable thumbs. Would they open their own cans of Purina Chow? Would they be able to give you special massages or even give you thumbs up while you pet them to let you know that you’re definitely hitting the spot? My! Imagine the possibilities!
10. Ask A Stupid Question Day – September 28th
Remember the time you stupidly raised your hand and asked your 3rd grade teacher a stupid question and she just looked astonished at your stupidity while the other kids chortled? And you swore you’d never ask another stupid question again. Well, on Ask A Stupid Question Day, you get a free pass to ask any stupid questions you want. Although, it is not advisable to ask your boss if he is wearing a toupee (he might not have heard of this holiday).
11. Wear Something Gaudy Day – October 17th
On this national holiday, you are given a free chance to emulate your chintzy bubbe or your closeted pageant show trainer Uncle Federico. The more rhinestones and sequins you bedazzle on your clothes, the gaudier and more fabulous you’ll be. Liberace would’ve been beaming like someone’s mum.
12. Clean Your Refrigerator Day – November 15th
What’s that foul smell? It’s probably coming from the back of your fridge where your mother’s long-forgotten ambrosia salad dwells. This well thought out holiday is the perfect time to clean out your refrigerator, right before Thanksgiving. Throw out that decade old ketchup bottle, the empty jar of jelly, and that god-forsaken rotten ambrosia salad because its time for a fresh new start and year.
13. Sidewalk Egg Frying Day – July 4th
America’s birthday has to share its date with National Sidewalk Egg Frying Day. Why? Because it is so gosh-darn hot in the middle of summer. And what’s a better way to prove this unmerciful heat than cracking an egg and watching it cook sunny-side-up on the sidewalk in the broad daylight?
14. Occult Day – November 18th
Time to bring out that black velvet cloak that has been sitting in your closet, form a circle, and chant in broken Latin to the horned Lord Janicot. Afterwards, you and your fellow occult friends can gather around and drunkenly recite some poetry of Aleister Crowley and W.B. Yeats over a nice pentagram bonfire.
15. Towel Day – May 25th
Don’t panic! Towel Day is a national holiday for galactic hitchhikers to show their appreciation to the late author Douglas Adams by carrying around a towel. This holiday also raised awareness of the convenience of towels outside of the bathroom by using it for warmth, cleaning up messes, and a soft fabric to rest on throughout your day.